Why Don't You Understand Me!

Have you ever had a pity party?

I found myself having a pretty good one last night. Aren't you sad you didn't join? 

In an effort to change my selfish and self-centered feelings, I read scriptures. I listened to music. I spent time writing in my journal.

Truth from a loving Heavenly Father
distilled upon my heart and mind 
as the dew distills upon the grass

I postponed prayer because I didn't feel like praying. But since I've discovered that prayer is the most effective tool for inspiring hope and happiness in my heart, I finally gave in. I knelt down and began to visit with my Father in Heaven. I try to be honest with Him because that's the only way I can find resolution to my problems.

"Why doesn't anyone understand me?" I opined. "I make such an effort to understand others!"

I continued in this vernacular for an unreasonable amount of time until this heaven-sent thought sunk deep into my heart—

Why don't you understand me? I understand you perfectly.

Friends, how much time do we spend worrying about what others think instead of worrying about what God thinks? How much time do we waste vainly hoping that others will accept and understand us when we could instead be making an effort to accept and understand God?

For me, the answer is far too much, far too often! I'm reminded of a statement from Elder Jeffrey R. Holland—

We consume such precious emotional and spiritual capital clinging tenaciously to the memory of a discordant note we struck in a childhood piano recital, or something a spouse said or did 20 years ago that we are determined to hold over his or her head for another 20, or an incident in Church history that proved no more or less than taht mortals will always struggle to measure up to the immortal hopes placed before them. Even if one of those grievances did not originate with you, it can end with you. And what a reward there will be for that contribution when the Lord of the vineyard looks you in the eye and accounts are settled at the end of our earthly day.

Our precious emotional and spiritual capital is better spent doing things that will bring us closer to God. In an effort to better understand He who understands me perfectly, I am recording the lessons He teaches me through prayer and scripture study. These lessons originate as thoughts which come gently, almost imperceptibly into my mind and heart.

I record these lessons in a journal. I invite you to do the same. These treasured spiritual tidbits will provide great comfort and direction to you in moments of stress and confusion.

MORE ONLINE

How to Pray and Seek Answers, Elder Richard G. Scott

How to Seek and Know the Father and the Son, Elder Robert D. Hales

Our Heavenly Father, Gospel Principles Manual

God's Plan of Happiness, mormon.org

Love > Fear

Did you know you can actually replace fear with faith?

I didn't believe it either. I had been taught my whole life that faith is the antidote to a whole host of ills—fear being the most commonly mentioned. I struggled to wrap my head around such an abstract concept as faith until I internalized this life-changing verse of scripture—

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.

I've learned that love is the great motivator while fear is the great de-motivator. Love for Jesus Christ inspires faith in Him and motivates us to keep His commandments. Fear of the Lord causes us to question His divinity and our worth as His children. Love for our neighbors motivates us to serve and share truth with them. Fear of our fellow men causes us to withdraw from the world.

So the bad news is that fear is a real emotion with drastic, eternally negative consequences.

The good news is that love—a real action word and the primary manifestation of faith—is the antidote. If I'm feeling fear, all I need to do is love or serve somebody and that awful feeling will vanish.

That's my two cents. Here's yours—

• Rian: Singing a hymn helps...and prayer. Sometimes I'm pretty sure that I don't overcome my fears; Heavenly Father just helps me ignore them for a while
• Andrew: Every fear is just a diluted version of the irrational fear of dying that permeates most of our conciousnesses. If you can remove the fear of dying there's nothing else to be afraid. And why should we be afraid to die? Exactly—no good reason at all
• Emma: I overcame my fear by praying. God helps us overcome our fears by giving us peace. Fear is what the devil instills in us. God replaces our fear with FAITH!
• Sue: Our place here on Earth is to share the gospel and to lift one another up, and the best way for me to overcome a fearful situation is through prayer, fasting and the study of scripture. I often use my Bible Dictionary or Topical Guide to reference scriptures pertaining to my concerns and then exercise faith through prayer and obedience to receive the comfort of the Holy Spirit. I have been blessed with such an amazing peace that I know could only come from the Spirit.

MORE ONLINE

Live by Faith and Not by Fear, Elder Quentin L. Cook

Do Not Fear, President Boyd K. Packer

Fear, Bible Dictionary

A Word about Birds

My dad's birthday was Monday and Father's Day was a couple of weeks ago, so I've been thinking a lot about the counsel he gave me throughout life—and especially as I prepared to serve a mission. I'm thankful for these lessons and the patient way in which my father taught them.

Dad often repeats a phrase he learned from his uncle—

Every day we are assaulted with inappropriate messages from friends and the media. Negative thoughts are a natural consequence of living in a negative world. I may not be able to control when an unsavory thought enters my mind, but I have ultimate control over when it leaves. Elder Jeffrey R. Holland taught this concept so well—

Like thieves in the night, unwelcome thoughts can and do seek entrance to our minds. But we don’t have to throw open the door, serve them tea and crumpets, and then tell them where the silverware is kept! (You shouldn’t be serving tea anyway)...Whatever thoughts you have, make sure they are welcome in your heart by invitation only.

You can't remove sludge by sitting around, and you can't replace something with nothing. Thought control is an active process. Satan requires nothing more than an empty mind and an apathetic heart; he doesn't need us to seek out angry, bitter, lustful, hopeless, or confused thoughts and feelings.

Positive thinking, on the other hand, requires effort. What do you do to keep your thoughts pure and hope-filled? Here are some of your ideas—

• Patsy: I keep my mind saturated with the word of God, keeping the commandments and doing His will.
• Emma: Garbage in is garbage out :) Listening to positive music helps. 
• Michael: Prayer, morning studies, and always surrounding myself with Gospel centered themes have prepared a way for the stage to remain pure and wholesome.
• Brooklin: If I ever start thinking something I don't want to, I automatically sing a hymn in my head. It's hard to think bad thoughts when you are singing the lyrics to I Know That My Redeemer Lives. Soon it becomes a habit and it is easy to divert my thoughts.
• Tyson: My mind is a stage; only one thing can be on my stage once. I keep my thoughts clean and pure by making certain that I am always the playwright. 
• Doris: Thinking positive means you are following the Lord. Keep a song and or prayer in your heart and stand up for the right.
• Michael: Flood your mind with God, truth, life and love.   

MORE ONLINE
Worthy Music, Worthy Thoughts, President Boyd K. Packer
Examples of Righteousness, President Thomas S. Monson
Think About What You Are Thinking About, Bruce K. Fordham
Hum Your Favorite Hymn, Children's Songbook #152

More Weighty Matters

A mission president is called by God to oversee a group of missionaries in a particular geographic area. President McKee, my mission president, hails from Pocatello, Idaho and oversees around 160 missionaries in the Nashville, Tennessee area. He is an endless source of wisdom and truth and love. Just like a good father he teaches me and others by example, showing in his words and in his actions how to be a good Christian in these troubled days.

Recently I performed with a missionary choir in Nashville. As we prepared to sing I found President McKee picking up trash that had been unfortunately strewn about the church kitchen. I paused to help. Almost immediately he put his hand on my shoulder and said, "Elder Barton, we should be out in the chapel shaking hands." He talked about the familiar story of Mary and Martha (for a quick refresher, click here) and said, "We're doing Martha things and we need to be doing Mary things." His counsel echoed a favorite scripture—

[Why] covet that which is but the drop, and neglect the more weighty matters?

I will never forget that little encounter. In less than a minute my mission president delivered a powerful sermon on priorities, faith and charity. He did it without saying more than a few words. And he did it with love, as he always does.

I'm grateful for a special leader who wisely taught me a lesson I shall ever remember—it is important to prioritize spiritual matters first. When we put the Savior first, everything else falls into place.

MORE ONLINE
Good, Better, Best, Elder Dallin H. Oaks
Developing Good Judgment and Not Judging Others, Gregory A. Schwitzer
We Are Sowing, Hymns #216

A Lifetime of Lessons

Everyone you meet knows something you don't know. Everyone you meet is facing a challenge you haven't experienced. Everyone you meet has a unique perspective to offer.

And likewise you know things and face challenges and have perspectives others do not know or have not experienced.

You can learn from everyone you meet. My compassionate mother and fair father taught me this lesson from a young age. When in my teenage ambition and spontaneity I was guilty of unfairly judging others, I remember my father wisely encouraging me to look at things from another perspective. He would give me additional knowledge and help me understand both sides of the story.

Likewise my mother, when I would say an unkind word about another, would urge me to treat everyone the way I would like to be treated.

From my wonderful parents and other leaders and friends, I learned how important it is to be fair and compassionate. The scriptures are full of examples of fair and compassionate leaders. Nephi "frankly forgave" his brothers just moments after they tried to kill him. Captain Moroni did not delight in bloodshed but in the joy and liberty and freedom of his people. Joseph Smith demonstrated charity and patience in forgiving William W. Phelps, who had betrayed him and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. To the woman taken in adultery, the Savior did not condemn but offered encouragement, support and forgiveness.

All of these leaders demonstrated fairness, compassion, wisdom and maturity. And yet nothing in their good or perfect (in the case of the Savior) character shows that they viewed others as less important. They walked with humility, willing to learn from those around them and willing to learn from "that God who gave them life."

When we approach every person we meet and every situation we encounter with humility—with a desire to learn—we will never come away empty-handed or disappointed. Humility is not weakness—it is the key to power.

Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God. (Helaman 3:35)

MORE ONLINE
Helaman 3:35
The Empowerment of Humility, Bishop Richard C. Edgley
Believe, Obey, and Endure, President Thomas S. Monson