REGRETS (2011)

How can you take back years unlived
devoid of love and without joy?
How can you recall the emptiness of
words left unsaid,
deeds left undone?
How can you fill the empty years with tenderness
save you crush a tender heart?
And is it easier to turn back time or to erase the painful memories from your mind?
How can it be that
only now
I understand I never lived at all?

Cold, suffocating, irreversible--
Tell me, what is your malady?
Mine's cut a hole inside my soul
but I can't talk about that;
you wouldn't listen anyway.
Tell me, what is your memory
of yesterday's sweet paradise?
What are your dreams?
What are your many hobbies?
I've got a few myself, you see--
I like to paint in amber hues
the autumn leaves; I like to choose
good books to read - I love to write -
But I won't talk about that just now;
you've got better things to say.
Tell me, what are your favorite things
and why do you like them?
What have you done? What will you do?
Where have you been? Where will you go?
Please tell me, who endorsed you then
and who supports you now?
Please, won't you talk a little longer?
Don't let my silence burden you.
I like to talk myself, you see -
I like to talk of many things.
But there's too much to talk about,
too much you wouldn't understand,
too much you couldn't comprehend.
So I will go on listening, my face serene
my eyes alert, my ears eager for the poetry
issuing from your eager lips.
And you will never see the raging storm inside my heart:
the gaping wounds, the lasting scars,
the battle I fight silently - a battle that has left me
cold, suffocating, irreversibly destroyed.
But please, go on - I'm listening.


Tepid, clear water
Flows not from springs of mountains
But from springing minds.


There's naught but sorrow on my face
for past misdeeds, and new disgrace;
I cast a prayer upon the sea
but no one listens to my plea.

A thousand years I've spent in Hell,
or so it seems, I cannot tell—
for time doth pass, and time doth flee
and no one listens to my plea.

The days grow old, the weeks die young;
My timeless story, just begun
is one of endless misery—
yet no one listens to my plea.

I pray for laughter and for love.
I pray to God in heav'n above.
When answers fail to come, I see
He never listens to my plea.

For I've been lost a thousand years,
and I've known pain, and I've shed tears.
And I've cast prayers for all to see—
Still, no one listens to my plea.

With anger, hatred, bitterness,
I leave behind the sun's caress,
the flow'rs of earth, the aged trees.
And I forget my hopeless pleas.

Now I blame friends and family;
I blame my God—they did not see.
The guilt, I know, should lie with me—
I never really meant my plea.

For answers came despite my pride;
to God and to myself I lied.
I stand condemned by my own leave
to live in Hell and shun God's plea.


  1. The past is gone, the present is now. and what you do in the present can make the future great. These poems struck a cord in me. I've been there. But there is so much Joy in life.

  2. I liked your poetry man. It's awesome. Thanks for posting it online. I think you capture so well your feelings.