Everyone you meet knows something you don't know. Everyone you meet is facing a challenge you haven't experienced. Everyone you meet has a unique perspective to offer.
And likewise you know things and face challenges and have perspectives others do not know or have not experienced.
You can learn from everyone you meet. My compassionate mother and fair father taught me this lesson from a young age. When in my teenage ambition and spontaneity I was guilty of unfairly judging others, I remember my father wisely encouraging me to look at things from another perspective. He would give me additional knowledge and help me understand both sides of the story.
Likewise my mother, when I would say an unkind word about another, would urge me to treat everyone the way I would like to be treated.
From my wonderful parents and other leaders and friends, I learned how important it is to be fair and compassionate. The scriptures are full of examples of fair and compassionate leaders. Nephi "frankly forgave" his brothers just moments after they tried to kill him. Captain Moroni did not delight in bloodshed but in the joy and liberty and freedom of his people. Joseph Smith demonstrated charity and patience in forgiving William W. Phelps, who had betrayed him and The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. To the woman taken in adultery, the Savior did not condemn but offered encouragement, support and forgiveness.
All of these leaders demonstrated fairness, compassion, wisdom and maturity. And yet nothing in their good or perfect (in the case of the Savior) character shows that they viewed others as less important. They walked with humility, willing to learn from those around them and willing to learn from "that God who gave them life."
When we approach every person we meet and every situation we encounter with humility—with a desire to learn—we will never come away empty-handed or disappointed. Humility is not weakness—it is the key to power.
Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God. (Helaman 3:35)
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Helaman 3:35
The Empowerment of Humility, Bishop Richard C. Edgley
Believe, Obey, and Endure, President Thomas S. Monson
I really like the notion of "humility" as the way to approach those around us--oftentimes we're counselled with the blanket statement of Matthew 7, "don't judge others," but for me, that's always been more conceptual than practical; I didn't know exactly how to go about it. One thing I can now do is concentrate on humility and interest, which I think are incompatible with the negative behaviours Matthew describes, and foundational for cultivating healthy, loving relationships with EVERYONE!! bomb-diggity! thanks for this!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment. I used to associate humility with being a doormat. But humble people do not have to be timid, they do not have to be shy, and they do not have to be doormats. I found this description on lds.org helpful—
ReplyDelete"To be humble is to recognize gratefully our dependence on the Lord—to understand that we have constant need for His support. Humility is an acknowledgment that our talents and abilities are gifts from God. It is not a sign of weakness, timidity, or fear; it is an indication that we know where our true strength lies. We can be both humble and fearless. We can be both humble and courageous."
Elder D. Todd Christofferson in a meeting with missionaries described humility as a willingness to do whatever is asked by the Lord and to give Him the glory.
Like you said, I think we can cultivate healthy, loving relationships with everyone so long as we make righteous judgments without judging people.