Being Like Nephi

Flashback to August 2012. This was one of the most grueling periods of my mission. It was also one of the most rewarding. The Lord blessed me with diamond truth to guide my mission and my life. Now I see the truth in Brigham Young's prophetic statement, "God never bestows upon his people, or upon an individual, superior blessings without a severe trial to prove them."


'If God commanded me to do all things I could do them'

I will not use this space to ruminate my trials, but I will share a 'superior blessing' with you - a truth, a lesson meaningful insofar as you have fought through and overcome your own severe trials. Months ago I shared this experience with my mission president and my family. Now I share it with you.

I'm finding little evidences of God's love everywhere I go. I'm beginning to understand how much He's blessed me. I'm beginning to see how foolish and selfish it is to focus on the things He hasn't yet given me. And I'm realizing more and more that sin distances me from His perfect love. He wants me to be confident, and the only way I can be confident is to trust Him.

I've studied a lot about the life of Nephi over the past few days. There is a man who was humble and confident. Though faced with overwhelming opposition and at least some feelings of inadequacy and sorrow, he never doubted in the Lord's promises. He exhibited faith and humility as he went about accomplishing the will of the Lord. I am so impressed by his remarks in 1 Nephi 17:50-51—

And I said unto them: If God had commanded me to do all things I could do them. If he should command me that I should say unto this water, be thou earth, it should be earth; and if I should say it, it would be done. And now, if the Lord has such great power, and has wrought so many miracles among the children of men, how is it that he cannot instruct me, that I should build a ship?

Nephi didn't focus on the daunting task of shipbuilding—something he had never done. He focused on his abilities. He focused on the Lord's infinite capacity to accomplish good. And he made the important connection between the Lord's power and his power. He recognized with absolute faith and sincere humility that he was capable of doing anything the Lord commanded him to do.

I'm not one to doubt the Lord's power. I have always felt that He is there and that He works miracles. But I'm learning from Nephi that I should not doubt my power to do the Lord's will, either. If the Lord desires to use me to accomplish miracles, why not? If the Lord wants me to be the answer to someone's prayer, why not? If the Lord wants me to be a powerful leader—something I feel intimidated by—why not? Part of trusting Him is trusting that I can do what He wants me to do. If I doubt myself, I'm doubting Him. If I doubt my abilities, I'm doubting His abilities. If I criticize and berate myself, I'm not applying the Atonement.